Everything I Thought I Knew About How Men Pee Is a Lie | by Sydel Brown | Candour | Medium

Everything I Thought I Knew About How Men Pee Is a Lie

Not that I was an expert before.

Sydel Brown
Jun 14, 2019 · 4 min read
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Photo of Washroom Sign of a generic woman shape and man shape. Photo by Franck V. on Unsplash

I found something out last week that made me stop and reevaluate everything I know about how men urinate: men in Germany sit down to pee.

Huh? Really?

Since when?

My old roommate dated a German guy. He was over all the time. I never knew this about him. Granted, I didn’t follow him into the bathroom so…

Another friend married a German man. He even moved to Germany to be with him.

Neither of my friends ever mentioned this unusual habit.

Were they too embarrassed to tell me? Did they not know? Was it a secret?

I’m not sure the reasons, but I have to say this was a strange revelation to me since I thought men always stood to pee, unless there was an underlying medical condition or something else going on, like number two.

Actual photo of my toilet (not really, but this gives me ideas): photo of a toilet that has toilet paper for eyes and an empty toilet roll for a cigar. Photo by Marc Schaefer on Unsplash

When In Doubt, Ask The Internet

Turns out, according to the all-knowing internet, the women in Germany say it’s cleaner. No splashes.

According to a quote from this article:

“A German friend was potty training her young boy and mentioned that upright urination would not be taught or tolerated at home. Of course I asked what, uh, technique her husband used. The answer was clear: he sat down to pee because she forbade him to stand.”

Interesting. So it’s taught and enforced by the women because they’re often the ones who have to clean up afterward.

And as I learned from that same article, there are toilet alarms that go off if the lid is lifted. Those Germans are serious about making sure everyone sits to pee!

According to the gentleman on this site, it’s “just more comfy” to sit than to stand for a wee.

There’s even a book on Amazon about it (not affiliated):

This Even Made The News In 2015

Men standing to urinate is so unusual that there was a court case in Germany and the ruling made international headlines:

My favorite quote from the BBC article above: “Despite growing domestication of men in this matter, urinating while standing up is still common practice,” he added.”

The use of the word domestication when referring to men sitting to pee is an interesting choice. It implies standing is wild behavior.

The Germans Have Words For Sitting And Standing To Pee

A Stehpinkler is a man who stands to pee.

Its opposite, a Sitzpinkler, is a rather derogatory term used to describe men who sit down to urinate.

The term has negative connotations along the lines of emasculation. But why?

According To Studies, It’s Better For The Prostate To Pee While Sitting

This isn’t something I would’ve thought about, but apparently, it’s better for your bowels if you void them while sitting. It has to do with the relaxation of muscles, which definitely makes sense.

Since I don’t want to get all medical, you can read more about that here:

I Don’t Get Why It’s Unmanly To Sit Down To Pee

Perhaps I’m naive to the intricacies of manly vs. unmanly peeing, but why is it considering unmanly to pee while sitting?

One of the links I found was this Oatmeal comic, and the implications are clear:

I personally don’t think it’s a reflection of manliness whether you’re sitting on the throne or pretending to water the garden in the toilet. Perhaps this is the only time I have penis envy: men have the option of sitting or standing. I mean, some women have learned how to pee while standing, but that’s not something I’ve mastered.

It’d be so handy to be able to go pee against a tree or in an alley whenever I wanted to, but it involves a lot more complicated maneuvering and exposure that I’d prefer not to attempt.

I don’t know why it’s considered unmanly, though. If it’s better for your prostate and keeps the peace in the Toilet Battles that happen in households across the world, then why not take the load off? Go ahead and sit down to pee. Your bowels will thank you for it.

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Sydel Brown

Written by

Writing about writing, sex, love, dating, relationships, and life with a twist of humor. Sometimes I bite. Can be NSFW. Buy me a coffee? Ko-fi.com/sydelbrown

Candour

Candour

Stories that celebrate the openness about the joys, victories, milestones, and pitfalls of life.

Sydel Brown

Written by

Writing about writing, sex, love, dating, relationships, and life with a twist of humor. Sometimes I bite. Can be NSFW. Buy me a coffee? Ko-fi.com/sydelbrown

Candour

Candour

Stories that celebrate the openness about the joys, victories, milestones, and pitfalls of life.

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