When I think back to all of the sexual escapades I’ve had in my life, you’d think I’d be happy with all that I’ve tried and be satisfied with it.
You might have been reading for a while and think, why Meaghan, what it is that you haven’t done yet in (or out) of the bedroom, but I am here to tell you, there are lots of things I haven’t done, or haven’t done successfully, that I want to try before I die.
Now, I have my grandparents living with me.
Totally not sexy.
But, having them around is teaching me a lot about lasting love and devotion, and what that looks like when you’ve been married to the same person for 63 years.
It’s also teaching me and making me think a lot about death, because they are in their late 80s and not far from it.
My grandma seems to be getting more frail by the day, and when I look at her in decline, her body folding in on itself and betraying itself at every turn, it makes me think very deeply about the time I have left on this earth and what I want to do with it.
I have a whole life list of things that I want to do and experiences I want to have before I die — swim with dolphins, fly in a hot air balloon, take my daughter to Disneyworld again, things like that.
But then, I have my sexual bucket list, too.
Don’t we all?
Here are some of the sexual things I want to do before I die:
1 / Join the mile high club. I know, this is probably on a ton of sexual bucket lists, but I don’t care about being a follower of a fad that could get you arrested by the Air Marshalls — in fact, the thought of being caught in there and getting in trouble adds to the hotness factor for me.
I have fantasized about sex in the airplane bathroom every time I’ve been in an airplane bathroom. How would we do it? Reverse cowgirl while he’s on the seat? With my legs wrapped around him as I perch on the sink? Standing with my foot up on the toilet so he can pound into me?
I don’t know, I don’t honestly care — I just want to try it someday.
2 / Have a straight up orgy. I’ve had threesomes before, but only with another girl — I’ve never been in bed with two guys and another girl before, and this is something I’d like to try.
I think mostly because I consider myself both an exhibitionist AND a voyeur, I think an orgy would be perfect for me.
I think this would work best at a swingers party, where I don’t have to be in an orgy with my own partner because I’m not going to lie, I have jealousy issues and am monogamous in my relationships outside of these little sexual dalliances.
3 / Have sex in public...like, where people can really see.
I haven’t written about this experience on Medium yet, but I once had sex on the commuter train from New York to New Haven. It was the middle of the night in an empty train car, and if cameras were on us filming it, no one came for us to make it stop.
But I want to have sex in public for real. That’s the exhibitionist in me that gets off on the naughtiness of the possibility of people seeing and getting caught.
I want to do it on a park bench, on his lap under a long flowing skirt.
Under a blanket on a busy beach.
In the back of a taxi.
There are so many possible places that I’ve had in my head and thought ‘that would be a great place to have sex,’ but all I need now are the guts and a willing partner.
4 / Have sex with a woman — have I talked about this enough yet? I don’t think I have. Let me list my feels.
I am very attracted to women, more so than men lately, and it’s been giving me deep feels about my own sexuality as well as dirty feels about what I would do with a woman if I could get my hands on one.
Though I’ve had threesomes with women before, I still have never eaten pussy, and now that I think of it, maybe this should have been at the top of the list.
I want to be alone with a woman in bed, I want to worship every part of her body from head to toe (yes, toe), and ravish the hell out of her, even if she doesn’t touch me.
In fact, there goes another fantasy in my mind…
5 / I want to squirt in a hotel bed. I know, this one is just straight up naughty and there’s really no need to do it except to fulfill a dirty fantasy of mine, but there it is.
I’ve only been able to squirt with one man, with a combination of him fingering me and licking and sucking my clit at the same time, and it’s always the most intense orgasm for me when it comes with a squirt.
I would love to check into a nice hotel with someone who is on the mission with me — to leave the ultimate wet spot on the bed and let someone else deal with the cleanup.
Anyway, I heard a lot of hotels have waterproof sheets that can be requested for people who have “accidents” and I’ll at least do them that favor.
Well, writing out that list just makes me realize how many other things I still want to try in bed before I die. This was a cathartic but sexy exercise, and I’m sure I’ll back with more sexual bucket list items eventually.